Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Ultimate compliment for 2013


Walking into the supermarket yesterday, a total stranger said, "Oh hey!" and waved at me like she totally knew me.  After staring at each other for five seconds, we realized that we did not know each other so I said, "Sorry, I'm not me. I mean, I'm ME but not the YOU you thought I was. Whatever. You know what I mean."

To which SHE said, "Oh sorry, I thought you were my fitness trainer. You look just like her."

At which point a thousand bells, whistles, and chimes all rang at once and balloons and confetti dropped from the sky and a loud announcer voice boomed over the parking lot, "TELL HER WHAT SHE JUST WON, JONNY!"

And Jonny said, "SHE JUST WON ... hold up, she just won ...?? [whispering] wait, there's no money or fancy vacations for her?  So what do we give her? Oh. OH! YOU'VE JUST WON THE REASSURANCE THAT YOUR BUTT DOES NOT LOOK BIG IN THOSE PANTS EVEN THOUGH YOU JUST SAT ON SAID BUTT FOR SIX STRAIGHT WEEKS!! ENJOY YOUR PRIZE!!!"

[more balloons and confetti]

Ok, so I would've loved some free money or a fancy vacation, but I'll take "You look like my fitness trainer" any day of the week.

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