In an ambitious twist that not even I saw coming, I decided to cook two meals this week: baked fish with vegetables and crab cakes, both from Ellie Krieger's The Food You Crave. The crab cakes looked easy enough, but is anything REALLY easy in this world?
Of course not.
The first road bump was the price tag on 16 ounces of lump crab at the local supermarket: $36.99.
Do you know how often I pay $37 for anything? Like, never. That's how often. Anything over $25 induces a day's-long back and forth of "How badly do I want this?" so if you think I'm paying $37 for a single item that can be totally consumed in less than ten minutes, then you're freakin nuts.
This led me to texting several people with, "Is imitation crab meat something that I want to eat?" (Imitation crab meat in this case was certified/sustainable/wild caught polluck + "less than 2% king crab meat.") Ron responded with, "My dad eats it all the time." (Not really an answer.) My mom responded with, "Real crab meat is A LOT cheaper at BJ's." (Also not an answer.) Into the cart it went. For the record, it was $7 per pound.
Now I just had to make the damn things.
I'll just cut to the chase--here are my eight crab cakes after I pulled them from the oven:
Basically, the "crab" was so "lump" that the damn things did not hold together AT ALL. In all fairness, I barely tried to get them into cake shapes and before I knew it I was dumping the whole bowl of crab cake mixture onto the baking sheet. I dumped the panko on top, tossed it into the oven, and didn't look back.
Maybe it didn't look like a crab cake, but it definitely tasted like one anyway. I put it over salad and a quinoa. barley, mushroom side from the night before. Honestly, it begs the question of putting these into cake form ever again.
Honestly, do I have any business criticizing my students for doing everything so half-assed? I guess not, but they don't have to know that.