Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Shane: This is for you

My Dear Shane,

Do you remember our glory days when we you would blow off work and meet up for overpriced peanut butter sandwiches? * sigh * I do.  Our glory days, my dear, have to come an end.

Oh, alas! What a fool I was today! I endured the stomach-sinking disappointment that only a Simon Pearce aficionado could possibly understand. (For the record, Valentine's Day 2010 is still the best Valentine's Day ever; the Simon Pearce building is still vacant; I'm still crushed Simon left PA; and those snow pictures still make me want to throw up.) There I was, so pleased that I had grabbed a metered spot with 42 minutes still left on the clock.  I skipped up to the door, grabbed the handle, and yanked.  And yanked again.  That's when I started feeling stupid.  "Oh, of course!" thought I.  "I should PUSH the door instead!"  But, it was not to be.  My Wednesday afternoon PB, cheddar, bacon, and pickle on toasted white bread was not to be had.  That's when I read the sign on the door ... the sign BEHIND the sign with the store hours:


Oh, the PAIN!!! Oh, the heartache!!! Those sneaky jerks shut their doors nearly three weeks after my semester ended--three weeks after I dropped off the face of this neighborhood until January.

I was so shocked that I stood back and looked up and down the block. Had anyone seen me frantically tugging on the door like an idiot? Well, that guy over there shouting into his cell phone probably did, but who cares? Not me. Completely numb (and seriously hungry), I walked back to my car in the nasty, misty mess that was today's godawful weather.  (So appropriate--the irony isn't lost on me.) I tossed my purse on the floor of the car--alas! I actually had a five dollar bill to pay for my sandwich! actual cash!--and drove away from my prepaid meter.

Shane, my lovely peanut butter lunch husband, it looks like the fun has come to an end.  Shall we relive our one and only PB lunch one last time since our First Annual Reunion Lunch will not be taking place in March? Yes, we shall relive it!  WE SHALL!

Oh, peanut tables! You're so cute!

A true Friday Feast! We hardly knew what to do with ourselves!
Oh, the damage we left in our wake!  We were so heedless and careless!  Every last bite devoured! Every last cheddar Sun Chip consumed! ... and we didn't give a damn who saw us!
Oh, peanut trivia! I never had the opportunity to completely memorize you in person!  Praise be for my photographic memory ... and this photograph!
Oh, Lunch Husband! Where will we go?? WHAT WILL DO?? Most importantly, what the hell are we gonna have for lunch???

As usual, my mother had little sympathy for my problems.

Me: [bursting through my mother's front door ... because I knew she had food in her fridge] "Oh, mother! You'll never believe my misfortune!! PB&U is GONE!!! Just like Simon!! It's Simon all over again!!"

My Mom: [glancing up at me from the top of her newspaper] "Does that mean you can't have lunch with that Wahlberg boy anymore?  I'm sure you can eat lunch somewhere else."

[Not kidding Shane, she really said that.  You don't even have a name in my family--it's just "Oh right, that lost Wahlberg brother ... Tiff's husband--that's right!"]

Just my luck! My favorite Friday place is gone.  The sign on the door said that the Moorestown Mall location is still open; however, Shane, even though I like you very, very much, I'm not sure that I'm so into this that I'll cross the bridge into Jersey for what is ... well ... just a peanut butter sandwich.

Happier times.

Well my dear, it looks like our fun is over.  Perhaps we will find a new place to call our own? Or will our love [for PB ... and bacon, cheddar, and pickle] die a slow death? Perhaps we will have to make our own sandwiches?! God forbid! I'm sure our fate will reveal an answer to us.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Remember how I told you ...?

... that Erin said, "I'm NOT telling ANYONE the babies' names before they arrive!!  I won't give in on this!  I don't care how much you beg!!" (Maybe I was the only one she said that to? In all fairness, I tortured her to tell me.)



Well ... I know their names.


Welcome Miss Ellie Therese and Miss Anna Kelley.  You made quite an impression on the world over the weekend.

I can't wait to meet you.

Much love to you both (and your mom and dad!),
Me

Sunday, January 27, 2013

The pinkest holiday

I don't get why people HATE Valentine's Day.  I've always loved it for no other reason than because it brightens an otherwise grey (GREY!!) time of year.  I don't like making a huge deal of it--to me, it's just a day to unabashedly wear pink or red, send pretty cards to my friends, and eat chocolate and conversation hearts non-stop. (Let's face it: that's why people HATE Valentine's Day--they make such a HUGE deal of it for no reason as if it's going to be some kind of life-changing event. Then, they find themselves train wrecked when it turns out to be ... an ordinary day with some candy hearts and last year's pink sweater.)  Love it or hate it, I personally love seeing all the pink and red stuff that appears in stores this time of year.  It's really just an early harbinger of spring--nothing more.  Leslie, mom, and I went to Terrain to see what Valentine items they had (and to play a challenging round of "GHMTI???" aka "GUESS HOW MUCH THIS IS???")

First find: Leslie finally found a plant that shares her name.  She's always been bent out of shape that so many plants and flowers double as women's names but not her own. (Rose, Lily, Daisy, Heather, Iris, Violette, Fern, Laurel, etc.)  At long, long, long last there is a Leslie plant:



Second thing, a felt heart garland that is ten times prettier than my own (remember my heart garland?):


I love the lace and the way some of them are off-kilter.  Thanks for making feel like mine's crap, Terrain.  By the way, guess how much that garland is?  Guess.  Guess!

Ready?

Ready?!

Twenty eight dollars.

YES, I am serious.

Leslie liked these postcards and tags:

So pretty, especially that card.

Ok, ready to GHMTI?  First, the card.  Ready?
READY?

Six dollars.  For ONE.  (Yes, it IS made out of paper.)

And those pretty tags with the felt hearts (on the right)? Guess.

Eighteen dollars for twelve.  That's $1.50 a piece.  They're also made mostly of paper.

What? You thought they were made of gold?  Silly. They're only paper.

(But, I love them all and if I hit the lottery, I would buy them all and not care.)

I would also buy myself 500 of these heart hangers with my lottery winnings and not care.
For the final round of GHMTI, Leslie noticed these boots and really liked them.  "They would be so great for commuting in the snow!!  How much are they? Do you see a sticker?"

Me: "Yeah: They're $500."
Leslie: "No, seriously. I like them."
Me: [stabbing at the little tiny price tag on the box] "THEY'RE FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. ok, $479. Like there's a difference."
Leslie: "That's hilarious. How stupid do they think we are?"

Pretty stupid, I guess.

Then again, I'm the one who's going to spend hundreds of dollars their on paper items if I hit the lottery tomorrow.

Green and red season is over, but pink and red season is here.

I love it.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Cleaning out the iPhone

This is what I found--not surprisingly, I have more pictures of furry creatures than people:

Penny is the new Pearl

I'm underneath the blanket. And the cat.


Mulligan and Paloma in their Christmas fleeces

Paloma again
Willow still misses her tree

I'm not sure if Penny is in greater denial about winter than me.

Fluffy butt muffin face

The BEST hot chocolate EVER. Buy it here.

Well Mom, if you're worried about my career prospects as a philosopher, let me point out again: It's your fault.

Erin texted this to me with, "One of these things is not like the other ..."


Pearl, you can tell me over and over that you hate Penny, but please understand that I have a hard time believing you.
I don't believe you at all, actually.
Yes, I know: the deck is more fun when it's not 20 degrees, snowy, and windy. I agree.


But that's not stopping you, is it?

Friday, January 18, 2013

Orchid time lapse

My mom gave me this orchid for Valentine's Day last year.  It did really well for many months, and finally both stems dried up and died.  The leaves were still really glossy and green, so I just kept it watered and sitting in the window.  Some time in the fall, a new stem appeared and took several weeks to grow all the way up.  The blooms have finally arrived, and they open one by one.

One


Two



Three (much slower)





Still waiting on four and five, and maybe even six ...

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I get it: you're dead


You can stop rubbing it in.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Twelve items

I've been reading Lobster and Swan since the middle of grad school. Recently, Jeska revisited one of her posts from 2010 and asked, "If I could only keep twelve items from my home to start over again, which twelve would I take? I'm talking personal possessions--not clothes, people, pets (they're a given).  Just the useful, decorative, treasured."

I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and prepared to agonize the whole day.  I ended up writing my list in about two minutes.  (It must be known that I have back up list of fifty other things because--if push came to shove--I don't know if I could stick to just twelve.)

Here's what immediately came to mind:

The poster Ron gave me for Valentine's Day junior year of college.

The jade plant I'm determined to grow into a tree.

My camera and all of its accoutrement (because that all counts as one).

Aunt Debbie's chandelier

Simon Pearce tree

Pair of lamps from Aunt Edna via my grandmother

Turquoise wedding china

Vacation pictures

Sewing machine

It's a toss up between my copy of Roman Holiday and my Little Women soundtrack.  I didn't agonize over this the other day, but I'm agonizing over it now.

And two Christmas items:

The stocking my mom made for me

Aunt Debbie's ceramic tree
So I picked three trees (two fake and one real), three glass/crystal items, three family items (two of which used to belong to Aunt Debbie), and two photography items.  No surprises there.

Do you know which twelve you would pick?